Wall

Your heart is a wall on which I knocked

looking for a door, a latch

a windowsill, a flowerpot

Everything I brought to the wall dried up

and blew away for lack of answer:

tulip bulbs, my worry for you, some children

Sometimes I pounded it with my fists

smashed my forehead on it

blamed myself for not having the passcode

hated myself

hated hating myself—started over

willed patience, got advice

cried in a heap against its brick

without getting a stir

so many night-after-nights

It’s a wall.

There is no way in.

Now that I’ve made the choice to leave

your heart suddenly has a gate

You fling it open for the first time

but I’m gone

Copyright Credit: Mohja Kahf, "Wall" from My Lover Feeds Me Grapefruit. Copyright © 2020 by Mohja Kahf. Reprinted by permission of Press 53, LLC.