On English Monsieur

Would you believe, when you this monsieur see,

That his whole body should speak French, not he?

That so much scarf of France, and hat, and feather,

And shoe, and tie, and garter should come hether,

And land on one whose face durst never be

Toward the sea farther than Half-Way Tree?

That he, untraveled, should be French so much

As Frenchmen in his company should seem Dutch?

Or had his father, when he did him get,

The French disease, with which he labors yet?

Or hung some monsieur’s picture on the wall,

By which his dam conceived him, clothes and all?

Or is it some French statue? No: ’T doth move,

And stoop, and cringe. O then, it needs must prove

The new French tailor’s motion, monthly made,

Daily to turn in Paul’s, and help the trade.