Allegiances

In the nighttime house I don’t know where you are

My allegiances could change

How can I stop my allegiances from changing?

Morning is a gown put on at midnight, but no one’s coming

I don’t know what your secrets are

You say you have no secrets but I can feel them,

they’re bumps under the blanket

You do not let me in

This mood kept me up all night, like stars in my face,

like the burning fuel of dead stars burning right through my face

So now I have my own secrets

This voyage at nighttime, these burning holes

I can’t take you with me — 

I don’t know who you are

You say it’s me, but I’m dreaming,

I can’t recognize anything except someone else’s song,

which sounds like a kind of siren,

it’s calling me, it puts a light on

Give me three reasons

Oh, you think I test you?

You think I work you too hard?

You think it’s too much to make you master the task

on your blue-black knees at 3 am?