I Haven’t Masturbated in Five Days for Fear of Crying

because we know distance too well

because the blood bank didn’t have enough blood for nana & her new knee

because I see your car a car like yours parked across the street from my apartment

because the same night awaits us all

because arizona & the drought & I was seven when it started

because nana used to sleep with a belt tied around her waist so tight to wake like an hourglass

because I wait on you

because I want to know the antonym to every word

because we speak to each other in our sleep

because I do my best thinking in the shower so I take long showers

because you kiss the parts of my body I hate most

because you can love someone & not remember their birthday

because sometimes I want the wind & it is impossible

because from the airplane I can see both oceans & where they meet