Traveling Broke & Ugly
My husband doesn’t believe me—that the dogs barked nightly
at the spirit in the corner of the kitchen. That I knew of a family
whose quilts were flung against the wall mid-sleep. Once, I told him
I met Satan in Scandinavia, and she had pigtails and a machete
sticky with spiderwort. She couldn’t have been older than six
or seven. Her ancestors were Vikings. They boiled firestarters in urine
and when she approached me, she laughed and called me ugly
three times: stygg stygg stygg. With the same gurgle of the growling
dogs. With a film over her eyes, bobbled back into her head. Then
she giggled and ran away. Later in the hotel room, I anointed
my forehead with oil—right thumb tracing the Sign of the Cross,
howling in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit
amen. Propulsion and smelt-speak until the crows flew off. God blessed
river God mothering gift, I threaded three needles with my mouth
and cast them out behind me, amen. Whose ghost sent a child
peeling a mango with her teeth? They say when a spirit leaves a room
you’ll feel a sudden calmness or maybe you’ll feel cold,
a kiss on your cheek. I felt hot and full of brisket. No,
I felt a web of algae stuck to my face. Electroshock and thundering
stacked spoons. I saw the face of Christ looking up at me
and she had pigtails. I—curled inside the musket’s mouth: a rust-worm,
a ramshackle, spiritual aftertaste. A penny always on my tongue.
Source: Poetry (June 2019)