Double Helix Kyrie

In English and American Sign Language (ASL) gloss

its still hard to enunciate

ghosts talk how-how

not easy to master

context none

its glossary is impossible

me life complain-complain list

but i want forgiveness

mistake-mistake long-ago

im a jumble

find mouth gibberish-gibberish

even vowels have

can’t impossible

whats left are my hands

grab s-h-a-d-o-w experience

& breaking free in the sun

one day world over o-r-p-h-a-n-s

will gather not in rage & sorrow

but all-us together warm out

of loneliness standing

b-r-i-c-k wall west a-r-c-h street

where i once stood &

envision revenge

my wings of sin are heavy

rage constant-constant not enough

to enable me to fly

still all-us o-r-p-h-a-n-s

will nod slowly to each other

stand-in-rows-move-together

through each city in the world

people out-there recognize will

the most powerful sound

loud noise not-matter

grief is untranslatable

grief force-us not ready

moving as one

shout-shout for-for

our stories will carry in the air

same-same wind-wind north

gusting about

wind-wind enter-our-mouths

for that kick of memory

me ghost happen body have finish

who shouldve belonged

but my story unique not

i got stuck in the mucky rut

between life death choose which

lies & more lies

you twin mine dark bright

youre not a ghost youre alive

suffer-suffer yours mine same

let me absolve you of its weight

cry-cry here-shoulder go-ahead

you can cry all you want

you twin me cherish-deep

why did you have to miscarry

you stand-stand eyes-transfixed

i would never let you go

if happen me die

when the heavens crack

sun ray-falling-down

floodlighting your face

you age never

our feet already on that ladder

memory telepathy

we would climb rising together

arms-around-each-other

our petal cells dividing

c-e-l-l-s divide-divide-up-around

until we are whole again

birth again

signing & singing

us-two language one finish
 
explain difficult-difficult whew

the language of ghosts

learn fingersnaps can’t

subtexts with no context

g-l-o-s-s-a-r-y impossible

im a catalog of grievances

but me want forgive-forgive still

in my concordances

me try speak-speak

of nonsensical idioms

v-o-w-e-l-s speak-speak

vanished from my tongue

left what hands-these

having captured shadow itself

stand wide-open sun-fall-on-face

one day all orphans of the world

gather together will not angry sad

but in that hazy aura

stand lonely where

by the brick wall on west arch street

me long-ago stand alone

daydreamed revenge

my wings heavy why me sin finish

rage alone isnt enough fuel

wings-fly can’t

together these orphans & i

nod-nod-nod-each-other

together we will walk as one

each city world touch-touch-touch

people shall hear our massive silence

silence power strong

no matter how anyone tries

grief translate-translate impossible

we learn it when we dont want to

stand-in-rows-move-together

we dont have to shout epithets

individual story-story float-swirl-up

just like the north winds

gust-gust

they only have to breathe us in

us-awaken remember wow

im just a ghost made of flesh

hearing family fit-right-in should

but you know what happened

me stuck same-old-same-old

between alive & dead

hearing family lie-lie build-build-up

my dear half my shadow my light

you ghost not you body have

your osmium past is mine

come-here me-take burden-off

please cry onto my shoulder

fine cry-cry fine okay

oh damn my dear twin

accident-birth happen why?

i still see you standing tall before me

connect-together let-go never

until the very end of my days

heavens ceiling crack-open

open with a beam of light

your face bright

forever ageless

double-helix ready climb

signaling memory to come

us-two stand-rise-together

as one in fetal embrace

f-e-t-u-s open-up-flower

a trillion times over

become one-one meet-become one

newly born

us-two sign-sing-sign-sing

in a language only our own