Outbreaks

i search for god but the sun is a penny.

looper moths form halos beneath the streetlamps.

summer’s ghostly curtains. check the weather.

haze. i search for god but the moon is gone.

i search for comfort, and the eels come.

they cross my meadow every twilight,

up to seven feet in length, traversing

mountain napes with open eager mouths.

the fires heaved them from the rivers,

now they curve themselves across

the precipice of life, toward black oceans.

haunted yellow eyes. looper moths

become a gentle cloud. i become an eel,

then rethink it. i cough. reveal a wet moth.

some gray little heart. it’s all hazy now.

pale as sunbleached wood, i go forth.

in a slant of moonlight, i search for comfort.

the neon 24-hour fried chicken sign

gleams behind the pines.

i crawl in the moss. it is easy to find god.

she is a cluster of eels beneath my palms.

i ask of her, am i doing any of this life right?

and she, with her many mouths,

says nothing.